Concerns and fears of home front spouses...

In an effort to help the civilian community understand the hardship of military deployment, I've asked spouses to share what their concerns are when their loved one is serving overseas. Here is what they said:

Being able to handle everything while spouse is deployed:  "I also worry that I won't be good at doing everything that needs to be done while he is away. Having two kids in multiple sports and school, laundry, dishes, house cleaning, my garbage disposal broke, yard work (I don't know how to start the lawn mower or weed eater), the animals, the vehicles... Never realize just how much stuff there is to do at home until you have to do it all by yourself. I just hope I can do it all together so it looks just as good as it did when he left so he doesn't have to do anything when he returns."

Car trouble:  "That my car will break down on the road and I won't be able to contact any one to pick up my children, and that I won't be able to get our only car repaired." 

Concern for deployed spouse

"The only real fear is that something will happen to my love. Other than that I can handle everything.. had a bursted pipe and my hole wooden floor needed to be replaced.. my car did not start.. two accidents .. one infertility treatment without my love..and I survived. Ten years as a Military Spouse makes you tougher."

"The only thing I'm afraid of is something happening to my husband mentally/physically/emotionally/spiritually."

"I fear more for his emotional well-being while he's deployed. Body armor is an amazing thing, but no amount of armor can protect them from what they see or endure."

"My husband being hurt or kept prisoner by the enemy or any kind of injury. I think if we love someone we don't want them to suffer."

"My fear was him not making it home, so I never expected him to come home with a TBI. I think the recovery has been harder than the deployment itself. I believe if you're strong enough to handle the deployment, then you can handle anything that comes afterwards. Love doesn't heal all wounds but it does help with the recovery. I love him and no matter what I wasn't losing our life together, it's different now but the love is still there."

"My biggest fear is that something will happen to my husband."

"Death is the ultimate worst fear of course. But I always want to help my kids understand why daddy is away so long and why he isn't home for their birthdays, holidays, first day of school, etc. They understand better and better each year, but my heart BURST when I heard my son ask me on the way home from the airport 'Mommy, what happens if daddy dies? Do we have to get a new one, because I don't want a new one". I can handle everyday stuff without a problem. It's usually when my husband is deployed when stuff breaks down. So, bring it on!

"I worry about my husband and my friends husband and that something will happen to them, because i know the real danger they face out there. This is my husband fifth deployement in 10 years and losing him is my biggest fear."

Concern for home front

"For myself and my children I fear to be harmed by robbers. I am very carful when entering or leaving my home. I have great neighbor that watches over my home when I am home or not. I feel like I have the extra weight on my back when he is gone for keeping our children safe and our home protected. My feeling of being safe goes out of the window when he leaves for a deployment."

"I also worry about my children; they seem to being doing well but it has only been two weeks, and two weeks is nothing for him to be gone."

"One of my concerns is that something will happen to me or the kids while he's deployed."

"I worry that something will happen to me (like a car accident) when my kids are at school. What will they do?"

"A week after my husband left for Iraq I was running around trying to be super mom & get everything around the house done before baseball games, the kids had been outside playing in the water, they came in and left a puddle of water by the back door, I walk through the laundry room, fast pace, slip on the water, tried to catch my fall on the door ... See Morebut put my hand through the window!!! Ended up in the ER, hit the artery but I was able to get the bleeding to stop at home & had to get 12 stitches & some shots. It was a nightmare!"

Fear of the unknown:  "My fear is the unknown......the what if's....and so on.
Insights in caring
during deployment
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